Indonesia's National Sport

Kelly says I talk too much. Ahh, yeah, okay. Can't really argue that today.

So, we have hockey as our national sport (I know, I know... officially it's lacrosse, but even that was not official until recently eventhough everyone thinks different)

Today's lesson is about the finer points of Indonesia's National Sport, Hello Mister.

Like any national sport, it can be difficult for outsiders to understand the rules. There are also subtle nuances, different schools of thought on how the game should be played, and of course, regional differences.

Teams

• In general, it is more of an individual sport, but you will often see a group of boys playing the game together.
• Anyone can play from 3 to 93. Sometimes, you will see a 5 year old and a 45 year old on the same team.
• Women can also play but tend not to. I have seen a couple co-ed teams as well.
• I have seen a father and son team perched on a motorcycle playing the game together.
• Just like hockey parents back home, you will often see a mother or father prodding their child to play the game.

Rules of Play

• The most important rule is to scream it out. Whatever it happens to be given the rules you are using at the time.
• Scream it at bules only (Boo-lays = foreigners).
• It in the purest form is simply, HELLO MISTER!!

All you bule's out there probably think that this is the whole game - a quick "Hello Mister" and yer done. And that's where you would be wrong. This is where the subtleties and regional differences come in to play.

• You must scream Hello Mister out as many times and as fast and as loud as you can until you get some sort of acknowledgement from the white guy.
• Seriously, if the white guy just keeps walking/cycling, you must run after him and chase him down - while continuing to scream "Hello Mister" at the top of your lungs
• You must scream Hello Mister whether the person is male or female.
• Some of the more advanced and experienced players will yell Hello Miss instead of Mister. This may also be yelled at the male bule's.
• Even more advanced players, who, much like the chess grand masters, have achieved qualified levels of play, will step up their play immediately after the first Hello Mister. Screaming, HELLO MISTER! MY NAME IS! or HELLO! MY NAME IS. This should not be confused with Eminem's song, as even Eminem actually finishes the sentence with Slim Shady. In the Hello Mister game, it is important to leave your audience hanging on to something...wondering...so, what IS your name. To this day, neither Kelly nor I have any idea of the names of the kids that have reached this level.
• Many of the TV generation suffer from attention deficit, just like back home. Often, these kids will simply skip to the most important part, and are allowed to simply yell MISTERRRRRR! Good players will roll the R for extra effect and more points.
• Less skilled players, often simply resort to yelling, BULE!! These players tend to be small children.
• Poorly skilled players, the kind with two left feet, will only stare. But you can often coax a smile from them.

Playing Field

• Essentially, wherever you, "the bule", are is a playing field. Inside the office is generally considered out of bounds, and the Hello Mister game is kept to the outside of the building. Similarly, inside your own house is out of bounds, but your porch is well within the playing field.
• I haven't quite figured out the finer points of "out of bounds" as yet. Outside of the building begins at the point that you can see sunlight. Sometimes, if the player is outside and can see you, then you are now "in-bounds" and can be screamed at.
• You can play riding a motorcycle, walking on the street, in a car, in a truck, in your house (but not in the bule's house). Teams will often ride together on the same motorcycle to score as many points as possible.
• Similarly, the bule does not need to be in any specific location - he or she can be called mister wherever they are (outside of the office and their own home).
• In fact, there is a little girl somewhere on the road to work who is not so skilled in the verbal aspects of the game, and simply yells "bule". She's quite good at the locational aspects as I have yet to find out exactly where the mysterious voice is coming from.
• You can be cycling along a deserted road, and a voice from some shady shelter on a tiny path 50m off the road will come bellowing out of the silence to say HELLO MISTER!

Strangely enough, the Hello Mister game is listed in the Lonely Planet under Dangers and Annoyances. I'm sure that's just a editing error though.

Kelly played the game herself - yelling at a bule on New Years Eve while driving along the main road of Banda Aceh.

While not a big fan of the game in the beginning, I've taken an approach to bring the game out of this school-book-academic and historical past into the present day. In Yogyakarta a while ago, I took the opportunity to introduce a new variation on the game with the kids. I had 3 of them saying "What up, dawg?!" in no time (although one was a little wild and said "What up, Puppy?". Knowing that I was able to make a contribution to a nation's culture is somewhat gratifying.

I'm still working on the kids in our neighbourhood.

I encourage you all to take it up at home.

This one is for the ladies... HELLO MISTERRRR!!

Dan